


Clowns

by Lokiismylife27



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clowns, Crack, Gen, Tony Being Tony, lots and lots of crack, poor steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 15:06:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10389459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiismylife27/pseuds/Lokiismylife27
Summary: Loki hates clowns. Turns out, he isn't alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hate clowns. If you like them, or are one for some ungodly reason, please don't read this story.

The Avengers were in a conference room with Fury, who waited till they were all there to say, “Someone’s been killing clowns.”

“Oh good,” Tony said. “Clowns are the epitome of evil, they NEED to be killed. I take it we’re here to find out who it is and give them a medal?”

“We think it’s Loki,” Fury said.

“So he’s turned into a good guy?” Tony asked. “Why are we even here?”

“Stark, killing clowns does not make Loki a good person,” Steve said sternly.

“Are you kidding me? It makes him a hero!” Tony said. “Clowns are EVIL. And some of them are pedophiles.”

“I am confused,” Thor announced. “What is a clown?”

“A clown is someone who dresses up in a really creepy costume and goes around being way too cheerful and smiling in this really creepy way- they’re usually found in circuses and McDonald’s,” Tony said, shuddering. “They’re pure evil, and if your brother is killing their population, he’s doing the human race a favor.”

“I’m with Stark,” Clint admitted.

“Same here,” Bruce said. Natasha nodded.

Steve sighed. “I guess you’re right….” he said wearily.

“I am glad my brother has decided to do some good for your people!” Thor said exuberantly.

“Me too, Point Break, me too,” Tony said. “So, I guess this meeting is over.”

The others shrugged and followed Tony as he left, ignoring Fury’s shout of, “GET BACK HERE!”

Once they were back at Avengers Tower, Steve asked, “Tony, do you have a clown phobia?”

“NO! I just think they’re evil!” Tony said defensively.

“Hulk doesn’t like them much either,” Bruce said. “He’s offering to go help Loki smash clowns.”

“Okay,” Tony said. “Let’s go on a clown-killing spree!”

“NO, Tony,” Steve said firmly. “We don’t kill people, remember?”

“Clowns aren’t people, they’re DEMONS,” Clint said, shuddering.

“I will gladly help smite these clown demons!” Thor exclaimed.

Steve went to go bang his head against a wall for a while, while the other Avengers started plotting the demise of the world’s clown population. They got interrupted an hour into plotting by Fury calling with news that a convention center had blown up. “What was the convention?” Tony asked suspiciously.

Fury sighed. “It was the annual clown convention in Georgia,” he said.

“Oh, then it’s perfectly acceptable for Loki to blow them up,” Tony said, and ended the call.

**_Two days later:_** Fury called the tower about another clown gathering being blown up, this time in France, and Tony smirked at him before hanging up. That night the Avengers toasted Loki at the party they were having.

**_A month later:_** After numerous blown up clown conventions and parties, and a lot of murdered clowns, Loki showed up at Avengers Tower. “Hi Lokes,” Tony said casually. “Congrats on your clown killing spree; I should have done that ages ago.”

Loki looked very confused, and asked, “You approve of me murdering clowns?”

“Yeah, they’re evil demons,” Tony said. “Why would we CARE if you kill them all?”

“I thought you Avengers were against killing, so I came to see why you have not tried to stop me yet,” Loki said.

“We’ve been cheering you on ever since Fury brought this to our attention,” Tony said. “Want a drink?”

“I would like that,” Loki said. “I am glad to hear I am not the only who hates those demons.”

“Most people hate and or fear clowns,” Tony said, shrugging. “Pick your poison.” He waved at the bar behind him.

Loki chose absinthe, and they proceeded to get drunk. Very, very, drunk.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and I regret NOTHING! Mwhahahahaaaaaa!


End file.
